I won the Irish lottery!

Stop the friggin’ presses, I’ve won the lottery.

That’s what this latest e-mail in my inbox tells me, at least. So it must be true.

IRISH GOVERNMENT ACCREDITED LICENSED
IRISH WEB LOTTERY/C IS REGISTERED
UNDER THE DATA PROTECTION ACT OF

See? It’s accredited and licensed. And registered under the data protection act of … well, it sort of trails off after that, but make no mistake, it’s registered.

Dear Winner,

Further proof! They don’t even bother with my name anymore — a winner is me!

Your E-mail I.D have won You A FreeLotto Prize Of £3.500,000,00 Approved by the IRISH FOUNDATION PROMO (I.F.P)in 2009 charity bonanza.

Hmm. It would seem the Irish could do with a bit of spell-checking. They’re a pretty invasive bunch as well, requiring of me the following information:

1. Full name…………..
2. Contact Address……..
3. Age………………..
4. Telephone Number…….
5. Marital Status………
6. Sex………………..
7. Zip Code……………
8. Occupation………….
9. Company…………….
10.State:……………..
11.Country…………….
12.Nationality…………
13.Amount Won …………

Seems a bit strange for them to ask me the amount I’ve won when they’ve just informed me of the amount I’ve won, but I suppose they’re just being thorough.

This promo is governed and monitored by the British Lottery Gaming Commission of 2009 and censored(B.L.G.C).

A promo for the Irish lottery under the jurisdiction of the British lottery? And censored?

I’m beginning to think these guys aren’t on the level…

7 Responses

  1. Congratulations! Presumably this is organised by the people behind English Guinness.

    PS Does this mean you’ll be buying all the rounds tomorrow then?

  2. You do know that what you’ll actually receive is the cash equivalent of a buttload of potatoes and cheap, shitty whiskey,
    right?

  3. That’s amazing because I won the Irish lottery as well. What are the odds. I also have one several other lotteries from around the world as well.

  4. Hey, congratulations!

    And this morning, I won the Spanish lottery! I would seem to be on a roll.

  5. I used to get hand-addressed letters, sent from Spain, telling me I’d won the Spanish lottery and all I had to do to claim the prize was pay a fee by bank transfer.

    Made me wonder, there must be people who respond to such letters, otherwise why would the scammers go to the effort of hand-addressing the (presumably quite numerous) envelopes.

  6. Hah, what a bunch of idiots. They were foolish enough to give you the lottery win and then forget how much they owe you. What a bunch of dumb asses. Now you can put in whatever amount you like under “amount won” and make Ireland as broke as, like… frickin… America!

    Sheesh, there’s a sucker born every minute. You better get that claim sent in right away, before they notice.

    BTW, good call on the NES Pro Wrestling reference.

  7. I have money waiting for me in Nigeria. If I can ever get down to Tokyo – I’ll take you out.

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