You hate your new office.
It’s hot, cramped, and smells of cheap coffee mixed with other odors you’d rather not give too much thought to.
It’s hardly surprising when the urge grips you again.
Must… Get out…
If your current location has any saving grace, it’s that it is incredibly easy to slip out of unnoticed. You have been putting this fact to good use recently.
On any given day, you would estimate that only 45 minutes of each hour will find you at your desk. The remainder is spent wandering the streets and alleyways, taking in the sights of ultra-new office buildings standing side-by-side with crumbling wooden houses (which, incredibly, remain occupied). Normally such behavior would be considered shockingly bad work ethic — as it turns out, however, there is no work. Or, rather, what little work there was for you to do has already been completed, leaving you with ample time to do nothing at all.
You slip out the door, irritated as always by the electronic beep-beep-beep sound it gives off as you do so. A few quick steps and you’re outside breathing in the crisp afternoon air. You ponder going left, but decide against it and turn right. It’s a good thing you do: Taking a quick glance over your shoulder to check for traffic, you spy your co-worker The Smile exiting the building and heading left. You quicken your pace.
Before long, a pedestrian bridge comes into view. You grin as you head up the stairs; last week on a similar walk, you reached the top to unexpectedly come face-to-face with Kewpie, who had waved excitedly and flashed you one of her 10,000 megawatt smiles.
“Going for a walk?” she asked, still waving.
“Keep it between us, OK?” you responded, finger to your lips. She immediately began giggling. Unable to resist the power of The Wave, you finally gave her a small wave back before resuming your walk.
Back in the present, you’ve reached the spot where the curry van pulls up just before noon to sell “ethnic” boxed lunches and taken a glance at your watch.
Ten minutes. It’s about time to head back.
A short while later your office comes into sight — and you duck back hurriedly. Lanky Tom, your co-worker from the ninth floor, is loping down the street, probably going for his afternoon coffee.
Yeesh, that’s twice I’ve almost run into someone from the office.
No sooner do you think this than you lock eyes with Curls, the sadly unappreciated (and sad-looking) secretary who sits two cubicles down from you.
This time there’s no escape. You’ve definitely seen each other.
She waves, the corners of her mouth turning up into a small but friendly smile. Then she resumes looking sad and heads off in the direction from which you just came.
Apparently, no one feels like working today.
Filed under: Salaryman Anecdotes