People of Tokyo who suck

Now, I have neither the patience nor the skill of fellow blogger Tokyo Cowgirl to detail, with Monster Manual-like precision, the 154 flavors of assclowns that the city of Tokyo has on hand to assail you with on a daily basis, but there are a couple I’d like to bring up to call them out for being the mouth-breathing goblins they are.

Put simply, this is yet another petty entry to rail against some people who’ve pissed me off.

That, dear Reader, is one of the benefits of having your own blog.

The Chuocider
Oooh, you sons of bitches. Not only do you leap in front of trains during peak hours, thereby inconveniencing thousands of passengers, you leap in front of my trains during peak hours, thereby inconveniencing thousands of people plus one — me, you inconsiderate shits. Feel like killing yourself? Do it in your bathtub. And quit using hydrogen sulfide that can harm your neighbors. Christ.

The Needless Panicker
This would be the type of person — by which I mean, almost every single inhabitant of Tokyo — that freaks the hell out when the train is running even the least bit behind schedule, and feels the need to cram himself into the train even when it means putting himself or others in danger.

Now, dear Reader, we get to the meat of the matter.

Last week was a Chuocide of epic proportions. It happened during the morning rush hour, and the blowout was massive. I had never before seen humans turn into fucking animals over a late train, but I saw it that day, and it was not pretty. Ambulances were taking people to the hospital because they’d been crushed in the train cabins. Police were lined up on the streets because random fights were breaking out between disgruntled salarymen.

Again, because the trains were running an hour or so late.

How fucking stupid do you have to be?

Apparently not very.

Incidentally, yours truly was stuck in a cabin for over an hour fighting off idjits too devoid of mental skills to realize they should try to hold on to something and prop themselves up instead of, you know, just letting gravity work and flying all over the place. As such, I have spent the last two days off of work nursing a rather screwed-up back. On the one hand, the time off has been nice because I hate my job and am sort of daring them to fire me, but this back of mine is not nice. I’m in pain, dammit.

And again, it’s because of idiots using public transportation to off themselves, and because the people riding said transportation would rather pack into a cabin until there are serious injuries instead of just saying “Screw it” and chilling out in a coffee shop for an hour or two.


Even the Messiah thinks you suck.

7 Responses

  1. Go, Jesus! Go, Jesus! It’s ya birthday!

    Yeah, I know what you mean about people and trains. Let’s face it, somewhere between 30 and 40% of Tokyoites move around in public with less skill and grace than elderly people fucking. And, about half of the remaining 60 – 70% lose their humanity if they’re running late or the trains get behind schedule.

  2. I don’t think I can ever top Billy’s comment up there.

    Billy, I bow down to your intellect.

    You too, JT.

  3. The supreme irony here is that these people are clawing like animals to arrive promptly at workplaces that make them want to kill themselves.

  4. They always seem in a rush, but they all walk soo slow!

  5. […] a previous post, I not only insulted most of Tokyo, I capped it off with a picture of Jesus Christ flipping the bird. Thus, it would seem the moral outrage boat has already well and truly sailed. And so here […]

  6. […] you are a regular reader, dear Reader, you will know that I hate my full-time job. In fact, I once blogged that I hate it so much that I was sort of daring them to fire […]

  7. […] a glance-over. Unlike the last one I received for that time when the people of Tokyo decided to screw up my back, this one is actually […]

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