Harley Man

Harley Man is walking by your desk again. This is nothing new, as Harley Man is always walking by your desk. It is no exaggeration to say that he has managed to make walking by your desk a full-time job in and of itself.

That and making printouts.

Never in your life have you seen someone make a printout, walk over to retrieve it, walk back to his desk and then immediately make another printout. The whole time, of course, kicking the living shit out of the floor with each step. And with that keyring thing he’s got looped onto his belt jangling crazily.

Sometimes you wonder about Harley Man. Who is Harley Man, with his Harley hair and his Harley jacket? And why is he the only one that gets to flaunt the business casual work outfit with his daily adventures in fashion?

A few months ago, an Excel document floated around the office for everyone to fill in. The idea, such as as it was, was for everyone to write down their 特技, or special skills, presumably so that when The Big One hits Tokyo and you and your co-workers are forced to fend for yourselves amidst the rubble and carnage, the people upstairs will know what tasks to assign everyone. Deciding that you couldn’t be assed with the thing, you put down “English,” a passive-aggressive answer you were fully expecting to get called on (but weren’t).

Harley Man put down, “Music, watches and knives.”


It suddenly occurs to you that while you’ve never heard Harley Man speak English, he’s apparently quite fluent.

You hope he doesn’t practice by reading online blogs.


4 Responses

  1. That’s a scary combination of special skills… Knives…WTF! and how did he get such a special skill??

  2. I wish I knew. Needless to say, his skills were the talk of the office for a while.

  3. I KNOW that guy. Are we in the same office? Nah, I’m thinking there’s one in every company. And why can’t they life their feet off the ground when they walk? But watch him. Knives. If he gets fired – he’ll be back.

  4. Harley Man. Killing him won’t bring back your God…damn…honey!!!

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