Identity theft, redux

You are walking down the street drinking a beer.
There is nothing unusual about this: Since having become unemployed, it’s been pretty much a given that if you are walking down the street — hell, if you are engaged in any ambulatory act whatsoever — you will be drinking a beer. Today’s beer is a sweet, [...]

Fast times at Ojisan High

This is my first entry into the Japan Blog Matsuri. Thought I’d give it a shot.
You are in the bathroom.
You’ve been in Japan for just over a week. Having studied the language before you got here, you’ve been able to at least navigate your way around this new environment … but to say that things [...]

The cleaning lady

I like the cleaning lady. She’s nice. She keeps our bathrooms clean, and always has a nod and a greeting for me whenever we meet.
There is, however, something quite disturbing about the cleaning lady — in fact, about every cleaning lady I’ve yet to encounter here.
There’s no advance warning.
No knock on the door, no Shitsurei [...]

Idiots of the workplace

Like pilot fish clustering around a shark (an apparently quite deranged shark), Japan’s business districts tend to attract a few distinct, rather bizarre types of worker that are plentiful enough to be seen on a daily basis.
And predictably, I take issue with them all.

The Outdoor Napper
I understand you’ve had a rough first half of [...]

Strange and fitful days

It’s midnight and you’re in an unfamiliar kitchen. Your hosts are asleep — as should you be — but even as tired as you are, you feel restless, tense with nervous energy.
You make the frog rattle.
What seems like a lifetime ago, there were people who would snap to attention when you entered a room. You [...]

Four homeless men

I’ve actually been sitting on this post for the past couple days while contemplating the potential moral backlash.
It then occurred to me, however, that in a previous post, I not only insulted most of Tokyo, I capped it off with a picture of Jesus Christ flipping the bird. Thus, it would seem the moral outrage [...]

October 9, 2007

In the present, your pointless day at work has concluded.
You are walking down the street toward Shimbashi Station when a propaganda-blaring loudspeaker van comes idling up behind you. Like all propaganda vans, it is loud and gleefully obnoxious; in contrast to its brethren, however, this one is narrated not by a man but by [...]

The new trick

Anyone who’s done the blogging thing from sunny Tokyo will invariably, at some point, bitch about the transportation system.
Efficient: check
On time: check
Packed with a bunch of belligerent assholes: Check and check
Usually, said assholery revolves around the theme of, “I don’t see you and therefore am going to take the space you’re currently occupying, preferably by [...]

A few strange things that Tokyo has shown me today

-An Indian woman in a purple tracksuit running frantically through a crowded business district with a McDonald’s bag in her hand.
-A Japanese lady in her 20s kneeling down intently to take several cell phone pictures of the semi-stray cats lounging around outside my office.
-This sign. Because apparently, Indian curry just isn’t authentic unless served to [...]

Yamato logic

You are seated across from your boss, trying to make sense of the situation as it has been presented to you.
Two months ago, you were promoted.
In the present, you are being reprimanded for not having put sufficient effort into the Excel document that charts your goals for FY09…
while being repeatedly told there is a high [...]