Patient Zero

It has not been a good week for me, dear Reader.
I have been, frankly, sick as hell — to the point I’ve lost about a pound of body weight a day for the past four days due to not being able to keep any food down. Today’s pukefest was the straw that broke the dromedary’s [...]

Is it just me, or has Gmail been sucking ass recently?

The title pretty much says it all.
Despite my blazing-fast internets connection, Gmail has been painfully slow and unresponsive in the past few months– and that’s when it bothers to be up and functioning at all.
Things have gotten so bad recently that on more than one occasion, I’ve had to resort to my old [...]

Fuckity fuck!

Sorry for the drop-off in posting, dear Readers. Who knew that unemployment could be so time-consuming?
The past week or so has been a flurry of resume-bombing, recruiter visiting, freelance translating and binge drinking (big surprise on that last one there). I’ll get back into the blogging routine as soon as I can, but for [...]

Coffee prick

I’m an ornery person, dear Reader. This will come as no surprise if you’ve spent any time glancing over my profanity-infused writings. And perhaps because of this goddamn cold that won’t go away, or the fact that I was tossing back a Theraflu and vodka at 3:00 this morning while watching episode 2 of The [...]

Mr. Mouth-breather

Tokyo is home to any number of web-footed, mouth-breathing demi-humans, but there is only one Mr. Mouth-breather.
You will know him by his location. He has chosen to haunt the train lines of West Tokyo.
You will know him by his appearance. He wears boxy glasses and looks exactly like George Takei circa 10 years ago.
And you [...]

Idiots of the workplace

Like pilot fish clustering around a shark (an apparently quite deranged shark), Japan’s business districts tend to attract a few distinct, rather bizarre types of worker that are plentiful enough to be seen on a daily basis.
And predictably, I take issue with them all.

The Outdoor Napper
I understand you’ve had a rough first half of [...]

Stupid fucking teens, media bring “Uncle Hitler” to TV

Japanese TV, in case you hadn’t noticed, flat-out sucks.
Anyone who can defend the mindless crap that counts as television in this country (including such riveting entertainment as having a celebrity attempt to gain 22 pounds in a single week and then make fun of the newly fattened individual) should be locked up in a [...]

The new trick

Anyone who’s done the blogging thing from sunny Tokyo will invariably, at some point, bitch about the transportation system.
Efficient: check
On time: check
Packed with a bunch of belligerent assholes: Check and check
Usually, said assholery revolves around the theme of, “I don’t see you and therefore am going to take the space you’re currently occupying, preferably by [...]

Dear asshole

Yes, you.
I understand your aim is merely to contribute to the beautification of our apartment complex. The other residents — myself included — are no doubt quite appreciative of your efforts.
However.
Is it really necessary to get up and start sweeping the living fuck out of everything in sight at 5:45 am? To sweep as if [...]

Dear Reuters

You may wish to employ the services of a seasoned copy-editor in your news department.

Might I suggest, “Generals to urge Obama for quick action on torture” as a possible alternative? The headline as it currently reads would lead us to believe that Obama has been torturing people and should be dealt with swiftly, which I’m [...]