Summer has descended upon Japan. And with it has come…
Well, yes, heat.
It’s friggin’ hot, but that’s to be expected. Hell, it’s warranted, given that it’s goddamn summer.
But I’ll tell you what is not warranted: the incessant, unrelenting muttering to oneself out on the streets, the proclaiming out loud of it when on the trains, the sinking piteously into one’s shadow while casting furtive looks about hoping to garner the sympathy of strangers, the thrusting of hands toward the heavens and crying out, “Why hath such misfortune befallen us?!” non-stop bitching about the heat!
People of Tokyo, I ask you: What’s your fucking problem?
Personally, I’ve grown up in some pretty toasty environments; as such, summer doesn’t bother me that much. Winter, on the other hand, is a bit brutal for me. But you know what I don’t do when winter rolls around? I don’t engage in dialogues like, “It’s cold! Tanaka-san, I put to you that it is cold outside and I, personally, feel rather cold.” You know why I don’t engage in such dialogues? Because it would be fucking repetetive, that’s why. Furthermore, going on about it wouldn’t change anything.
Unfortunately, Japanese is a language that delights in stating the obvious, and stating it repeatedly. I make no exaggeration when I say the following has become an everyday conversation at the office in which I work:
A (enters room, mutters to self): あっちー! (“It’s hot!”)
A (reaches desk, thus gaining a new audience): わぁ、暑い！(“It’s so friggin’ hot!”)
B: 暑いっすね (“It is hot, isn’t it?”)
A: もう・・・ほんとに暑い！ (“It’s just… Argh, it really is so hot!”)
As mentioned above, I’ve grown up in some hot climates. You know what happened as a result? I got used to it. You should give it a try.
Odd as it may seem, I still have the capacity to reach into whatever memories haven’t been completely scorched out of my brain by chronic alcohol abuse so that when summer rolls around, I can remind myself, “Ah yes, this is hot weather. I have experienced this before.” There is no surprise involved.
Eau-de-tobacco salarymen of Japan, have the last several decades been a blur? Have you forgotten this phenomenon that is “hot weather” such that you feel it necessary to mention it every 2.5 seconds?!
Meh. That’s what happens when elf shoes start becoming part of the company outfit.